Recently I was counselling someone on the phone. This lady is a widow and has a teenager daughter who has a disability of slow learning. Now every time this lady called me up she would complain so much about her daughter that it seemed she was actually cursing her. And at the same time she would pity her circumstances and her life and how much someone needed to applaud her for her struggles. Now for once I heard her and told her to come for counselling. But finally when I told her that all that she needed to do was to change her thought life and speech life, she promptly said that this was all bookish advice which seemed good to hear but not possible to implement in life. I then realised even though almost all of us do not like the mess in our life yet do not want to make some serious changes. We just wish that someone should give us a magic wand and suddenly the mess would disappear. No it does not happen this way. You got to work on it!
When I got over my first marriage, I had no mental support from my parents or immediate family and my two beautiful daughters were taken away from me. I did not like it because it hurt and it hurt real badly. It was very easy for me to lament over and over about my hurts. But I didn’t because very early I realised that only God can take the ashes of your life and turn them to beauty. And you can’t keep carrying the ashes of your life expecting them to turn into beauty by wallowing over it. You got to work on it, you need to take a decision that I am not staying this way and I am going to find a way out to turn my life around so much so that looking at my life people would be encouraged to have a good life.
I know there are many people who take to drinking or drugs also during their lows of life but let me tell you, life is beautiful only if you make it and life is an opportunity only if you see it. So I encourage you if you are going through something in your life, nobody is interested very long to hear about your problems, nobody can do anything about your situation – only you can, and people can advise you but only you can do it. God bless you – Shalini Mehta